Your Favorite ALF Quotes

[jantje]

From "For your eyes only":

JODY: Actually, I'm too nervous to eat.
ALF: I eat when I'm nervous.
JODY: You're nervous, too?
ALF: Uhum. Of course I also eat when I'm not nervous.
JODY: I eat when I'm depressed.
ALF: I eat when I'm bored.
JODY: I eat when I'm lonely.
ALF: I eat all the time.
JODY: I'm a little overweight.
ALF: I'm short.
JODY: I'm blind.
ALF: You win.

[jantje]

From "Prime Time":

After Alf makes Polka Jamboree come in first in the ratings.

ALF (to Kate): What makes you think it was me?
LYNN: Alf, in nine out of ten cases it's you.
ALF: Maybe it's that tenth case.
WILLIE: Is it?
ALF: No!

[Jessica]

Haha yeah that's funny!

[Jessica]

From "For your eyes only":

JODY: Actually, I'm too nervous to eat.
ALF: I eat when I'm nervous.
JODY: You're nervous, too?
ALF: Uhum. Of course I also eat when I'm not nervous.
JODY: I eat when I'm depressed.
ALF: I eat when I'm bored.
JODY: I eat when I'm lonely.
ALF: I eat all the time.
JODY: I'm a little overweight.
ALF: I'm short.
JODY: I'm blind.
ALF: You win.

That one rocks!

[jantje]

From Keepin' the Faith:

LYNN: But don't you have to know something about make-up before you can sell it?
ALF: That's the great thing about this company. They welcome ignorance.

[jantje]

Another favorite of mine; I guess it's from the episode that Neal first appeared in:

Lynn (to Neal): Uncle Neal, have dinner with us. Mom made... (to Kate) What was that?
Kate (annoyed): Food!
Lynn (to Neal): Anyway, there's plenty of it left.

:D:D I just laugh my @ss off whenever I watch this scene.

[vidhya29]

Alf to Lucky 'Have some wine, it'll slow down your reflexes'.

HAAA HAAA

[DefLeppardVanHalen]

This was from the Outtakes...

ALF: Don't...don't ever touch me!
Kate: Sorry.
ALF: What's the name of the show?
Kate: Sorry...ALF, ALF, ALF.
ALF: Man!
Kate: I'll rip his ear off.
ALF: If you're going to touch me, touch me down here.

[Jessica]

Haha, yes. And this conversation:

Willie: "Kate! This lasagna looks really great"
ALF: "Very well worth the eternal (something) wait.
Willie: I asked you twice to stop doing that."
ALF: "What? We're just having a pre-dinner chat."
Willie: You know what I mean, rhyming everything I say.
ALF: "No problem, Willie. Have it your way."

Willie: Kate! Kate, he's doing it again."
Kate: "What?"
Willie: "He's rhyming the last word of everything I say. Go ahead ALF, he's been doing it all day. Now he's got me doing it."

And then when Lynn comes home.

Lynn: "What a creep! I never wanna see him again."

Willie: "I guess Lynn and her boyfriend had a fight."
Kate: "We should go see if she's alright."

ALF: "Oh sure, when Kate makes a rhyme it's no big deal..and for that, I'm eating your meal."

Hahahahahaha. Priceless!

[DefLeppardVanHalen]

Here's another awesome conversation from "Stop In The Name Of Love," Jess...

Brian: I found Lucky inside the microwave.
Kate: ALF?
Brian: I can't find ALF anywhere.
Willie: Well, do you look under our bed?
Brian: Yep.
Kate: In the garage?
Brian: Yep.
Willie: In the car?
Brian: What car?
Willie: Our car.
Brian: Our car is gone.
Kate: Willie, Lynn took the car to the drive-in.
Brian: Oh sure, she takes ALF to the drive-in, but not me.
Willie: Kate, you go get the door, while I'll go get ALF...what am I thinking, I gave Lynn the keys to the car.
Kate: I think this the wrong time to discuss this, but I believe we need a second car.

[luckythecat]

This was from the Outtakes...

ALF: Don't...don't ever touch me!
Kate: Sorry.
ALF: What's the name of the show?
Kate: Sorry...ALF, ALF, ALF.
ALF: Man!
Kate: I'll rip his ear off.
ALF: If you're going to touch me, touch me down here.

lmao. I'll have to watch that

This is from the Thanksgiving episode

ALF: Happy Fappy to me, Happy Fappy to me. Happy Fappy to the alien they kept under house arrest with a long list of "don'ts" and nothing but a plate of cold meatloaf while they all went to a big party with lots of hot foooood . . . Happy Fappy to me!

Also

(The Tanners arrive home to see that ALF hasn't been taken away thanks to the Bum secretly reporting him)
Willie: ALF!
ALF: Willie!
Willie: (shakes head in disbelief) ALF!
ALF: (imitates Willie shaking his head) Willie!
Lynn: ALF!
ALF: Willie!

I laugh my fanny off every time I see this scene

[Jessica]

This was from the Outtakes...

ALF: Don't...don't ever touch me!
Kate: Sorry.
ALF: What's the name of the show?
Kate: Sorry...ALF, ALF, ALF.
ALF: Man!
Kate: I'll rip his ear off.
ALF: If you're going to touch me, touch me down here.

lmao. I'll have to watch that

This is from the Thanksgiving episode

ALF: Happy Fappy to me, Happy Fappy to me. Happy Fappy to the alien they kept under house arrest with a long list of "don'ts" and nothing but a plate of cold meatloaf while they all went to a big party with lots of hot foooood . . . Happy Fappy to me!

Also

(The Tanners arrive home to see that ALF hasn't been taken away thanks to the Bum secretly reporting him)
Willie: ALF!
ALF: Willie!
Willie: (shakes head in disbelief) ALF!
ALF: (imitates Willie shaking his head) Willie!
Lynn: ALF!
ALF: Willie!

I laugh my fanny off every time I see this scene

Hahahaha!!! Yes, that was funny.

[Joe Shumway]

yeah, that was funny, especialy moment when alf shakes his head...

[DefLeppardVanHalen]

This was from the Outtakes...

ALF: Don't...don't ever touch me!
Kate: Sorry.
ALF: What's the name of the show?
Kate: Sorry...ALF, ALF, ALF.
ALF: Man!
Kate: I'll rip his ear off.
ALF: If you're going to touch me, touch me down here.

lmao. I'll have to watch that

This is from the Thanksgiving episode

ALF: Happy Fappy to me, Happy Fappy to me. Happy Fappy to the alien they kept under house arrest with a long list of "don'ts" and nothing but a plate of cold meatloaf while they all went to a big party with lots of hot foooood . . . Happy Fappy to me!

Also

(The Tanners arrive home to see that ALF hasn't been taken away thanks to the Bum secretly reporting him)
Willie: ALF!
ALF: Willie!
Willie: (shakes head in disbelief) ALF!
ALF: (imitates Willie shaking his head) Willie!
Lynn: ALF!
ALF: Willie!

I laugh my fanny off every time I see this scene

Hahahaha!!! Yes, that was funny.

I believe ALF actually called Thanksgiving, Fappiano.

[Jessica]

Yes, he did.

[Joe Shumway]

Alf (on the radio): Come in Scotland, come in Scotland….Is this Scotland?

Men on the radio: Aye, it is....

Alf: Hey Scotty, beam me up. Ha, ha…i kill me….I am hungry, maybe i will call Turkey.

[Jessica]

Hahahahaha!! Yes, that's a great scene.

[Joe Shumway]

Willie: 300$ in phone calls.
Alf: Sorry, i' ve been bored.
Willie: Half of this phone calls is to the phone in Lynn's room.
Alf: I' ve been lazy to.
Wille: You Federal Expressed a letter to Brian?
Alf: It absolutely, positively had to be there.
Ochmoneks: Hey Tanners , it' s us.
Willie: Alf……kitchen.
Alf: No problem, I'll call a cab.

[Jessica]

Hahaha!! Awesome.

[DefLeppardVanHalen]

ALF: All right. Let me see if I've got this reindeer thing straight. There's... uh... there's Dasher, Dancer, Comet, Cupid... Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
Lynn: No, it's Prancer, Dancer, Vixen, Blitzen...
ALF: Huey, Dewey and Louie.
Brian: No, those are ducks.
ALF: Then how do they pull the sleigh?