Campaign Update 6/10/2012

[samstokes80]

Hello everyone,
Since Jeremiah is out for a few weeks, I will be posting the campaign updates here on the forum. Here is this week's update:

ALF QUESTIONED IN REGARDS TO CAMP DAVID INCIDENT
June 10, 2012
By Samuel Stokes, Campaign Correspondent

The National Guard was called in late last night to Camp David, when it was discovered that an unauthorized bonfire burned down two acres of the forest before it could be put out. Military police investigated the fire and determined that it was not arson, but merely a bonfire that got out of control because of inadequate supervision.

Catoctin Mountain Park rangers reported sighting a dog-like creature screaming and running away on its hind legs from the bonfire with part of its fur on fire and submerging itself into a nearby pond. The park rangers lost sight of the creature when the bonfire collapsed and started a swiftly spreading fire in the sorrounding forest. After the fire was extinguished, the rangers discovered the charred remanants of over 50 smores and approimately 60 hot dogs. Judging from the empty food packages left behind, it is judged that many more had already been consumed before the fire spread.

"We didn't see anyone else aside from the creature on the premises," said Ranger Gabe Aldrich, "So it is puzzling as to how all this food was eaten in such a short amount of time. No animal in this park is capable of eating anywhere near this amount of food."

Homeland Security has brought Ambassador Gordon "ALF" Shumway in for questioning since the physical description matches, as does the description of the amount of food consumed, which constitutes a moderately-sized snack in Melmacian terms. ALF admits to having been at Camp David yesterday and takes full responsibility for the incident.

"I was aware that Camp David was a restricted area," said ALF, "but hey, I figured I'd get the place broken in for when I become President."

In response to this statement, Mitt Romney had this to say, "What arrogance, what audacity, Ambassador Shumway trespassing at Camp David! And what utter devestation, burning down those two acres of precious forest! On the other hand, Shumway may have done me a favor, clearing away two acres - I had been planning on converting two acres of Camp David into a dog park when I become President."

ALF's diplomatic immunity as Galactic Ambassador again seems to have saved him from the serious penalties he would otherwise be facing for the trespassing and damages, however, his government-funded Sam's Club membership has been temporarily revoked. In the meantime, ALF's weekly supply of hot dogs and smores will be rationed and delivered to his home, whose loction is undisclosed.