Campaign Update 6/17/2012

[samstokes80]

ALF REMINISCES ABOUT HIS FATHER

June 17, 2012
By Samuel Stokes, Campaign Correspondent

On this Father's Day, ALF shared some thoughts in an exclusive interview with this campaign correspondent. Ambassador Shumway opened up in many ways regarding his father, who has been missing since the destruction of Melmac. The following is an abbreviated transcript from the interview.

SS: Ambassador Shumway, if you would, please tell me about your father.

ALF: My father, Bob Shumway, was a mayonnaise miner on Melmac.

SS: So, on Melmac mayonnaise was mined?

ALF: That's right, but this is the real stuff, not the cheap Earth imitation that humans call "mayonnaise." Mayonnaise on Melmac was a valuable substance - you couldn't get a jar for less than two wernicks.

SS: What made it so valuable?

ALF: Well, let's put it this way - Melmac's planetary motto was "Are you going to finish that sandwich?"

SS: I see, and by the way, what is a wernick?

ALF: Melmacian currency. A wernick is worth the same as two half-wernicks.

SS: How did your father influence how your personality developed throughout your life?

ALF: He instilled in me a strong work ethic. He spent some long days at the mines to make sure that his wife and three children were always provided for. He also taught me some valuable lessons about life.

SS: Such as?

ALF: He used to always tell me, "If it's edible, eat it. If it isn't, use it. If you can't figure out how it works, break it."

SS: And this has been the key to your success?

ALF: It has?

SS: Moving along - was there ever a time when you and your father didn't see eye to eye?

ALF: Well, my father wasn't too keen on me joining the Orbit Guard. I think he always figured I would become a mayonnaise miner after his footsteps. In the end, I was drawn to the Orbit Guard, mostly for the promise of fame and money. Neither of which it offered - if I ever get my hands on that recruiter . . .

SS: On a somber note, you lost contact with your father after the destruction of planet Melmac. Do you think he is still out there somewhere?

ALF: I don't know, but if he is, I'd just like to say I love you, Dad; Happy Father's Day; and throw another steak on the barbecue for me, ha!