Your Favorite ALF Quotes

[Earthling]

Willie: 'Galileo didnt sail around the world.'
ALF: 'Oh, like you were there...'

[Joe Shumway]

Jake: Give me five.
Alf: Here' s four, I owe you one!

Lynn: Look Alf, Jodie is here.
Alf:Citizen Kane,yeah, nice to see you!
Jodie: Nice not to see you.
Alf: HA,HA, what a kidder!

Alf: Where the presents?
Willie: Presents, we gave you presents for Christmas, and your birthday,and on saint Melmac day, which i realy doubt is all that big holiday anyway.
Alf: Hey forget the presents, I guess it' s that my friends… and Dorothy, are here.
Everyone(with presents): SURPRISE!!!
Alf: Oh boy, friends with presents are best kind a friends….. and Dorothy!

Ochmoneks at the door. Alf goes in the kitchen.
Jodie: Why is Alf hiding?
Kate: He owes Ockmoneks money!

Alf: I can' t belived that I invited them all back tomorow!
Lynn: You what?
Alf: They are my friends….and Dorothy, besides I could use a extra presents.

[joshkav]

Can anyone help with an episode reference, exact quote, or better yet sound clip for the following quote? Not sure I'm getting it right but when I heard it, I laughed so hard that it's stuck with me for more than 20 years.

ALF: "That's dogma. No that's worse than dogma, that's dog manure."

[Joe Shumway]

Can anyone help with an episode reference, exact quote, or better yet sound clip for the following quote? Not sure I'm getting it right but when I heard it, I laughed so hard that it's stuck with me for more than 20 years.

ALF: "That's dogma. No that's worse than dogma, that's dog manure."

Well, maybe that quote is in the episode "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog" season 2...but I am just guessing ....
ok. maybe this will help you...here are the links with the video and sound clips
http://www.alftv.com/multimedia.php
http://www.tvshows.de/alf/e-sounds.htm
http://www.tvshows.de/alf/e-videos.htm

or try to find on youtube something...good luck....or better watch every episode of Alf

joshkav,
welcome to forum .

[haynese]

From an outtake reel - Andrea(Lynn) impatiently says "I've got a plane to catch" and Alf(Fusco) starts laughing then remarks "Let's sacrifice your career for a weekend in Iowa"

[Gordo]

My best quote/scene, is when ALF is decorating for a party and wants dancing dogs - but then finds Kates mum isnt coming to stay.

[fbhwes]

In the season 3 episode "Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark" Jake and Alf are trying to help Brian get over his fear of the dark by camping out in the back yard and Jake decides to tell a scary story about the phantom of the subway with a gleaming hook . Scaring Alf in the process and a sudden windy noise sends Alf off screaming into the night.

Alf : It's the haunted taxi ! yikes! yikes,yikes,yikes,yikes
running through the back of the living room Alf is yelling at the top of his lungs
Alf : Taxi ! Taxi ! Taxi !
Willie and Lynn are in the den trying to relax and see Alf as he runs by in confusion
Willie : Alf is hailing a cab in the den.
then Jake runs by almost falling down
Willie: Exactly when did i lose control


Also from season 3 The episode " Have You Seen your Mother, Baby

After witnessing Jakes visiting Mother who is secretly a kleptomaniac steal one of Kates brooches Alf
and Jake have this little exchange

Alf: What i have to talk about is difficult.
Alf: I don't know how to brooch the subject
Jake: You can trust me
Alf: I know. And i appreciate that, Jake.
Alf: I'm glad you could steal some time to talk with me.
Jake: What are you trying to say, Alf?
Alf: Nothing. if i had something to say about your mother, I'd say it.
Jake: What about my mother ?
Alf: Well, she seems very nice. I mean we haven't met or anything,but she certainly doesn't look like a thief.
Jake: She's not a thief.
Alf: Ok She's a sleepwalker who's into accessories.
Jake: She's neither of those, either.
Alf: Well, I saw her take a brooch from Kate's jewelry box.
Jake: I was afraid of that.
Alf: So you do know something about this.
Jake: Yeah, see, my mom's a kleptomaniac.
Alf: Aha, A what?
Jake: She doesn't mean to take things that don't belong to her.
the doctor says she just can't help herself.
Alf: I think the problem is she does help herself.

[TheOldAlfer1]

Not really a quote as such. I love it when ALF is being told off or is sometimes frightened, when he does his little "nose twitches", and his nose move backwards a bit. Always make me laugh. Does anyone else know what I mean?

[fbhwes]

Oh yeah we were just making fun of that the other night !

[Admin]

ALF: "I never wager more than I'm willing to lose...I'll bet Willie's car."
ALF: "Finger sandwiches?!?? ...and you won't let me eat cats!"

lol, watching that episode right now

[Blinky]

ALF: "The cat won't fit in the toaster. Never mind, I'll make a peanut butter sandwich, where's the blender?"

my favorite

[Mystiness EX]

Also from season 3 The episode " Have You Seen your Mother, Baby

After witnessing Jakes visiting Mother who is secretly a kleptomaniac steal one of Kates brooches Alf
and Jake have this little exchange

Alf: What i have to talk about is difficult.
Alf: I don't know how to brooch the subject
Jake: You can trust me
Alf: I know. And i appreciate that, Jake.
Alf: I'm glad you could steal some time to talk with me.
Jake: What are you trying to say, Alf?
Alf: Nothing. if i had something to say about your mother, I'd say it.
Jake: What about my mother ?
Alf: Well, she seems very nice. I mean we haven't met or anything,but she certainly doesn't look like a thief.
Jake: She's not a thief.
Alf: Ok She's a sleepwalker who's into accessories.
Jake: She's neither of those, either.
Alf: Well, I saw her take a brooch from Kate's jewelry box.
Jake: I was afraid of that.
Alf: So you do know something about this.
Jake: Yeah, see, my mom's a kleptomaniac.
Alf: Aha, A what?
Jake: She doesn't mean to take things that don't belong to her.
the doctor says she just can't help herself.
Alf: I think the problem is she does help herself.

This. So very much. It's the first thing I think of whenever I'm reminded of ALF.

[Blinky]

Betty: (referring to ALF) Not in front of the f-r-e-a-k!
ALF: Who's Frank?

Betty: Goodnight my furry little goldmine!
ALF: Goodnight Frank.

[Suburban_Sensei]

Willie: I ate beans from a can; that's how I got my traveling name!

ALF: Bean-head?

This scene is funny to me, every single time I watch it.

[Admin]

^ Agreed! There are far too many good quotes in that episode...may need to watch it when I get home.

Oh, and welcome to the forum!

[mames507]

Die Scurvy Dog

Never fails sit down to a nice home cook meal and the phone rings.

Hey dog touch the tv dinner and your cheese spread.

Ahh loose Kangroo.

There is way to many quotes lol

[ALFIsMyIdol]

ALF: If you need me I'l be at the fridge.
Kate: We won't need you.
ALF: I'll still be at the fridge.

One of many

[Blinky]

ALF: why dont you come out with me? we can play pin the tailpipe back on the car ...Its not as bad as it sounds

[robodog]

Burglar ( seeing Alf ) Must be one of those talking dolls.
Alf: Oh yeah? Ever have a talking doll rip out your voice box!?

[Suburban_Sensei]

Burglar ( seeing Alf ) Must be one of those talking dolls.
Alf: Oh yeah? Ever have a talking doll rip out your voice box!?

It's funny, as a kid I actually hated that line, because the idea of ALF being so violent was really scary. But now, Strangers in the Night is without a doubt my favorite episode in the series.