chapter 3 is up

[Ninjadragon5]

in case anyone is interested, just finished chapter 3 of my ALF fanfic. to fare warn you all, this one is really long, so might take you a while to read it. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8914688/3/A ... -red-skies

[samstokes80]

Good work. I just read chapters 2 and 3. I particularly enjoyed the race - very exciting segment.

A couple of tips:
A little extra proofreading will improve readability. There were a few spelling/grammar things here and there. Here are a few spellings that came up more than once that you'll want to correct - "hangar" is the correct spelling for an aircraft bay, a couple of times you wrote "integrate" when it appeared to mean "interrogate," and there were a few instances where you wrote "your" and meant "you're." Of course, spell-check wouldn't catch any of these.

Also, I know you're going for a more serious story, but I feel like Gordon should wisecrack a little more. I think of him as wisecracking every other line or at least every third line. Of course, that's your call, but I think even in the most serious situations, Gordon can't help but to drip sarcasm.

Keep up the good work. You obviously have a clear idea of the story that you are telling, and it comes across well.

[Ninjadragon5]

thanks for reading!
yeah, I did proof read it, but since it was such a long chapter, I still tend to miss stuff and yeah, I know my grammar and spelling is not the best,thanks for pointing that stuff out though
yeah, this story is going to be more serious, but yeah I get what your saying, maybe I made him a bit too serious, more wisecracks would fit him more. thanks fore the review!